Back

It has been a while since I've written. I guess this is the place where I go, when I feel like there's nowhere I can go.

Kind of sad, really. You deserve to hear also the happy times. But that feels like such a long time ago. More than a year, to be exact. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. You're not buying any of it, are you?

Well, I wouldn't either. But trust me when I say that I'm happy. Compared to what I've felt in the past - this is happy. Not extatic, but normal happiness.

The guy that I thought had broken me into pieces - I told him that I didn't want to see him anymore. The thing is though - did he get the message?

I just feel like my world is still upside down and I have NO idea how to flip it back. On the one hand I finally realize what's important in life, but on the other hand I have no clue how to find him.

Hope the prayer my heart makes every night will be heard one of these days. That my mind will finally find peace and that my heart blooms of fire.

Ever yours,

V

Hypocrites

God! I'm soooooo tired of girls who seem to have no other goal in life than to make other people feel bad about themselves. Definately, when the bullied-ones are those who give their all to make other people happy! When are those girls finally going to grow up? I thought I'd left high school, I suppose I haven't. :s

I'm sorry for this angry message. Just need to say that. Just needed a place to scream.

Love, V

Wanted: a fairy god mother

Goodbye: this time for good?

Fighting for myself

Update

Hi everyone,

Lots has happened since my last entry. I imagine that from now on there will be more frequently. I thought I'd finally found that guy. He was sweet, kind, attentive, selfless...

But I feel like such a fool now. Everything has changed. I guess it's just another repetition of the classic story of the naive girl who believed that love could be great.

We fight now all the time. It's feels like we're stuck with cuffs around our pulses. But we seemed to do everything to get out. Are we just scared? And scared of what? Pain, hurt? It doesn't feel that way at my side. After everything that has happened I still love him. Which I shouldn't as he can't care for me. I'm wrong in every way. I am from a different background. I am a freaking romantic with big dreams. I simply care too much. Losing this possibility hurts less than having to lose him.

What I don't understand is why he always comes back to me? You might think that if he does this he must care for me in someway. No other guy I know would be doing this. But why? And why does he always want to keep the flame alive, but never too much alive?

GOD GIVE ME AN ANSWER!!! I wish I could make everything right, but I'm afraid we have astrayed too much from the path we once walked on. Can we ever find our way back?

Please. Someone. Help me.

Love, Vero

Grateful

I guess I should be grateful. Except for my lovelife (surprise, surprise), my life is finally going pretty well. I feel more welcome with my old friends. I get the seminars that I want and I get a compliment almost every day at my internship. However, as I am a hopeless romantic to the core, I still feel a whole in my life. It's not getting any bigger, which would be a good thing if I could imagine the possibillity.

The next video describes exactly how I feel. Weird, as I normally hate (no offense) dance music like this.

Love, V